Sometimes, saying too much to your child only makes things worse when teaching a valuable parenting lesson. Try these simple one-liners instead.

As parents we all have a bag of tricks. The best tool in mine right now isn’t bribery or some sophisticated parenting philosophy—it’s the one-liner. In an effort to validate our daughters’ feelings and be empathetic, my husband and I used to talk too much. We’d explain, coax, and try to reason with Penny, 7, and Gwen, 4, but those extended conversations only led to power struggles and exhausted everyone involved.

作为父母，我们都有一些技巧。 我现在最好的工具不是贿赂或一些复杂的养育理念 - 这是一个窍门。 为了验证我们的女儿的感受并且表现出同情心，我和我丈夫过去说话太多。 我们会解释，哄骗，并试图与7岁的Penny和4岁的Gwen进行推理，但是那些扩展的对话只会让所有人都筋疲力尽。

“There’s a limit to how much verbiage developing brains can process,” explains Joan Ershler, Ph.D., director of the Waisman Early Childhood Program at the University of Wisconsin. “What you mean to say can get lost in a sea of words, so short and simple works best.”

威斯康辛大学怀斯曼早期儿童项目主任Joan Ershler博士解释说：“发育中的大脑可以处理多少废话是有限度的。”"你的意思是说他会迷失在语言的海洋中，所以简短而简单的语句是最好的"

We curated a handful of brief phrases to replace a ton of blather, and it has wildly improved our interactions with our kids. Maybe these one-liners from our house, other parents, and experts will work magic for you too.

我们精选了一些简短的短语来代替大量的废话，它极大地改善了我们与孩子们的互动。

This line, paired with a sincere frowny face and a shoulder pat, can go a long way toward soothing a child having big emotions, because it acknowledges that, yeah, it does suck when your sock is on “wrong.” Validation can help your child move through difficult feelings instead of getting stuck, says Dr. Ershler.

真诚脸和拍肩膀相结合，能让孩子的情绪变好，因为当问题出现的时候确实很糟糕。承认困难的存在帮助孩子解决困难而不是被困住。

Giving a small child a positive direction can end a debate faster than reasoning ever could. “When you say ‘Don’t run!’ or ‘Quit arguing,’ not only does your child have to stop the action, she also has to search her repertoire of responses for what to do next,” says Dr. Ershler. But “Walk, please!” or “Say ‘Okay, Mommy!’ ” simply tells her what to do next.

给一个孩子一个积极的方向可以比推理更快地结束辩论。“当你说‘不要跑!’“或者‘停止争论’，不仅你的孩子必须停止行动，她还必须搜索她的应对方案，以应对下一步该做什么，”埃什勒博士说。但是"走吧，谢谢!或说“请说‘好的，妈咪’”就可以简单地告诉她下一步该怎么做。

This one’s a great catchall for many kinds of unwelcome behavior—yelling, grabbing a toy from someone, being rude. Kids can be more cooperative if they feel they have some control over a situation, so saying something like this or “Let’s have a redo” gives them a chance to choose to behave differently without piling on the guilt.

这对于许多不受欢迎的行为而言是一个很好的选择 - 吼叫，从某人手中夺取一个玩具，并且很粗鲁。如果孩子们觉得自己能控制局面，就可以重新合作，所以说这样的话“让我们重做”让他们有机会选择不同的行为，而不必内疚。

How you say this one is super important because if you’re not careful it can sound scoldish. And if your emotions become heightened, so will your child’s. But genuinely asking him to tell you what you said is a good way to remind him of what he’s supposed to be doing.

你怎么说这个是非常重要的因为如果你不小心的话它会听起来很有问题。如果你的情绪激动，你的孩子也会如此。但是真诚地让他告诉你你说的话是一个很好的方式来提醒他他应该做些什么。

My own “keep-it-simple” eureka moment actually came the day I heard these seven words. At drop-off, Gwen’s preschool director instantly and kindly shut down a 4-year-old’s attempts to bargain with her by responding with this gem. Period. Case closed. Move along, kid—and that’s exactly what he did.

在我听到这七个词的那天，我自己的"保持简单"的顿悟时刻到了。

This is a blessed alternative to “Stop whining!” Once your child speaks to you more normally, you can then praise her and explain why she made a good choice, says Dr. Ershler.

这是"停止抱怨"的好选择!“一旦你的孩子更正常地和你说话，你就可以赞美她，并解释她为什么做出了一个好的选择，”埃尔斯勒博士说。

Getting kids to remember their manners is an ongoing battle—but instead of nagging, which can trigger a rebellious response, help your child remind himself of the rules with a calm question.

让孩子们记住他们的举止是一场持续的战斗 - 但不是唠叨，这可能会引发叛逆，帮助你的孩子提出一个可以平静处理问题的规则。