One of the most frustrating parts of being a new parent is feeling clueless about your baby's wants and needs. Does a soft, whimpering cry mean he's got a wet diaper—or that he's getting hungry? What about a loud screech? And forget about crying for a moment—what does it mean when your baby rubs her ears, or flails her arms around?

Babies communicate long before they say their first words, says Linda Acredolo, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at University of California, Davis, and author of Baby Signs. "Babies are born with the ability to express several emotions, including distress and contentment," she says. When we read their cues and respond quickly to their needs, she adds, babies feel secure and the parent-child bond is strengthened. Of course, easier said than done—not all babies send the exact same signals, and sometimes it takes months before you feel truly in tune with your baby. Still, some general principles apply. Read on for expert advice on how to decode three major types of baby cues.

Little frowns, wrinkled foreheads—your baby's expressions can be fleeting and easy to miss, admits David Hill, M.D., adjunct assistant professor of pediatrics at University of North Carolina Medical School. "Compared to crying, facial expressions are certainly more subtle," he says. Watch closely, however, and you'll soon catch these familiar expressions:

A baby who turns his face away from you needs a break from eye contact. "From about two months on, babies disconnect if they're feeling overwhelmed or over stimulated," says Dr. Acredolo. "Sometimes, the baby will turn his head to the side almost stubbornly, or play with his fingers or toes, or even start crying—anything to break contact with an adult."

New parents sometimes get overenthusiastic when interacting with baby, says Dr. Acredolo. "These parents will try moving into their baby's line of sight even if the infant has turned away, or they may keep talking, tickling or jostling to win back their baby's attention," she says. Respect your baby's need for down time, and wait patiently and quietly until he turns back to you. "Then, smile broadly and re-engage with your baby," she says.

The first true smile usually occurs between six and eight weeks, says Dr. Acredolo. "At this early age, smiles are likely a signal of physical contentment," she says. "My own baby's first smile, for instance, was triggered by the coziness of a warm towel after her bath." But soon, smiles become more controlled, and happen when your baby is around loved ones.

Encourage your baby by reacting positively to her first smiles; laugh and smile back at her, tell her how terrific she is—even if she doesn't understand the words, she gets the message.

We are blueprints for our babies. "Between three and six months, most infants will learn to imitate facial expressions—fear, surprise, sadness," says Dr. Hill. By nine months, a baby will take in a new situation (i.e. the appearance of a stranger), then look back at her mother's face. "If the baby sees the parent is also distressed, then her anxiety will increase," says Dr. Hill. "Usually, the baby will start clinging or crying."

Remember that if you're feeling stressed, your baby will be too. If it's a minor case of anxiety, take some deep, cleansing breaths and consciously relax your facial muscles to ease tension. "In many cases, the act of smiling itself is likely to calm you down," says Dr. Hill. "Follow that with strong, smooth touch such as hugging or patting, to let your baby know everything is okay." (Of course, if you're reaching the point of anger or frustration, you should always hand your baby off to someone else. If you're alone, put him down in a safe place like his crib until you've calmed down.)

Studies suggest that about 90 percent of communication by babies and adults is nonverbal, says speech-language pathologist Diane Bahr, author of Nobody Ever Told Me (or my Mother) That! "For instance, many babies make little fists when they're hungry and begin feeding," she says. "Once they are satisfied and full, their hands relax and open." Other common body language cues:

Starting a few weeks after birth, babies begin arching their backs when they're in discomfort, says Michele Saysana, M.D., director of the Pediatric Hospitalist Program at Riley Hospital for Children at the Indiana University School of Medicine. "It might mean he has reflux, especially when the arched back is combined with crying," she says. "The baby will squirm around and move to try to get to a more comfortable position." Often babies arch their backs when they've had enough to eat and want to move away from the breast. (Around 4 or 5 months, this movement might mean something completely different—that your baby is trying to roll over for the first time.)

Your baby probably just needs a change of position (after all, she can't move very much herself yet.) If she's in a carrier, car seat or stroller, try taking her out for a few minutes; hold her upright against your shoulder or give her some wiggle time on the floor.

Babies will rub their eyes and ears with their hands when they are starting to tire. "Before 6 months, they rub their faces against something if they are tired or itchy," she says. "After that, they might discover an ear by accident, and take comfort in pulling or rubbing it. Ears are a sensitive part of the body, and babies like feeling them."

Start your bedtime or naptime routine as soon as baby begins rubbing his ears and face. One caveat: If your baby is rubbing his ears, has a temperature of over 101 degrees and is fussy, he may have an ear infection and you should call your pediatrician, says Dr. Saysana.

The rooting reflex is a key to survival, as it helps the baby find food. "A newborn will turn his head whenever something touches his cheek," says Dr. Saysana. "The reflex disappears after the first few weeks, although babies will still turn toward you to nurse—it's not automatic anymore and becomes a cue they are hungry."

Use the rooting reflex to your advantage while your baby figures out feeding; a simple touch of the cheek will help him find the breast or bottle.

Loud noises, bright lights, or a head bobble can trigger the startle reflex—babies jerk, spread out their arms and legs, then quickly pull them back in and cry. The startle reflex is present at birth, but fades between three and six months.

Although startling doesn't hurt the baby, it can feel scary and set off a crying fit. To recreate the security of the womb, where sound and light were muffled, try swaddling your baby with a lightweight receiving blanket. (This technique is best for younger babies. By four months, most babies can squirm out of a swaddle, Saysana notes—after six months, swaddling can lead to hip problems.) Click here for instructions on how to swaddle your baby.

Crying is the quickest way for your baby to let you know she's tired, hungry, in pain or just plain fussy. But which cry is which? "At birth, all the cries sound pretty much the same," says Bahr. "Newborn babies cry when they inhale and exhale; they don't have much respiratory control." Start listening for variations around one month, explains Bahr—as your baby matures, you'll be able to figure out what she wants from the cry she makes. Here are the biggies:

A baby will generally wake up hungry and crying for food. "It's a short, low-pitched cry, just over a second in duration," says Bahr. If you don't respond quickly, the cry becomes louder and more intense.

Respond to your baby as quickly as possible, especially in the first few months of life. You're not going to spoil your baby by picking him up and feeding him right away. Tending to your baby's hunger immediately teaches him that you'll always be there to care for his needs.

A cry of pain comes on much more suddenly than a hunger cry. It's about twice as long, and continuous- that is, it doesn't rise and fall in pitch.

Go through a mental checklist when trying to comfort your baby. Could she have a wet or soiled diaper? Could she be too cold—or too warm? (A baby waking up in a car seat, for instance, is often overheated.) Look your baby over from head to toe. Sometimes a piece of clothing or edge of a diaper is pinching her skin.

Between two and three months, your baby's cries will become more varied, and he may develop a cranky, "tired" cry. "It may be a softer variation of his distress cry, says Bahr. (Don't forget to use common sense in deciphering cries: If your baby's been awake for a couple hours, it's more than likely you're hearing a sleepy cry.)

Try rocking in a chair or on your feet, swaying from side to side, gently stroking his head or chest or softly singing. You'll quickly find out what works best to quiet your baby.

Babies "talk" between two and three months, says Bahr. "They start to match the pitch and variation of the parent's tone." By four to six months, babies experiment even more with their voices; they babble, putting consonant and vowel sounds together and make raspberry sounds. "Her voice can express a range of emotions—happy, mad, irritated, protesting, eager and satisfied," says Bahr.

Narrate your activities as you go through the day with your baby ("Now I'm going to run the water for your bath," "Look at the pretty butterfly!") - pausing to let her babble back at you. Encourage her by mimicking the sounds she makes - and enjoy these first, memorable conversations!

作为一名新父母，最令人沮丧的事情之一就是对自己孩子的需要和需求一无所知。温柔的、呜咽的哭泣意味着他有尿湿的尿布——或者他饿了吗？大声的尖叫是为什么?不要再哭了——当你的宝宝摩擦她的耳朵，或者她的手臂环绕着她的时候，这意味着什么？

加州大学戴维斯分校(University of California, Davis)的心理学名誉教授、《婴儿标志》(Baby Signs)一书的作者琳达·阿克瑞多罗(Linda Acredolo)博士说，婴儿在说出第一个单词之前就会进行交流。她说:“婴儿天生具有表达多种情感的能力，包括痛苦和满足。”当我们读到他们的线索并迅速对他们的需求作出反应时，她说，孩子们会感到安全，父母的孩子的关系也变得更紧密了。当然，说起来容易做起来难——并不是所有的婴儿都发出同样的信号，有时甚至要花好几个月的时间才会让你觉得自己和你的宝宝完全合拍。不过，还是有一些一般性原则适用。请继续阅读有关如何解码三种主要类型的婴儿提示的专家建议。

小皱眉，皱皱巴巴的额头——你的宝宝的表情可能转眼即逝，很容易错过，M.D. David Hill承认。北卡罗来纳大学医学院儿科学助理教授。他说:“与哭泣相比，面部表情当然更加微妙。”然而，仔细观察，你很快就会发现这些熟悉的表达方式:

一个把脸转离你的婴儿需要从眼神交流中解脱出来。Acredolo博士说:“从大约两个月开始，婴儿们如果感到不知所措或过度兴奋，就会断开连接。”“有时，宝宝会把头转到一侧，或者用手指或脚趾玩耍，甚至开始哭泣，以与成年人脱离接触。”

Acredolo博士说，在与婴儿互动时，新父母有时会过于热情。她说:“即使婴儿已经转过身去，他们也会尝试着进入婴儿的视线，或者他们可能会不停地说话、挠痒痒，或者为了赢得宝宝的注意而互相碰撞。”尊重你的宝宝需要休息的时间，耐心的等待，直到他回到你身边。她说:“然后，开怀大笑，和你的孩子重新接触。”

Acredolo博士说，第一个真正的微笑通常发生在6到8周之间。“在这个年纪，微笑很可能是身体满足的信号，”她说。“比如，我自己的婴儿的第一个微笑，是在她洗澡后用一条暖和的毛巾引起的。”但是很快,笑容变得更加可控,发生在宝宝周围的亲人。

通过积极地回应她的第一个微笑来鼓励你的宝宝;笑着对她微笑，告诉她她有多棒——即使她不懂这些话，她也会得到信息。

我们是婴儿的模仿对象。希尔博士说:“在3到6个月的时间里，大多数婴儿将学会模仿面部表情——恐惧、惊讶和悲伤。”9个月后，婴儿会出现新的情况(即陌生人的出现)，然后回头看她母亲的脸。希尔博士说:“如果婴儿看到父母也很痛苦，那么她的焦虑就会增加。”“通常情况下，宝宝会开始抓人或哭。”

记住，如果你感到有压力，你的宝宝也会有压力。如果是轻微的焦虑，那就做一些深呼吸，有意识地放松面部肌肉来缓解紧张。“在很多情况下，微笑本身可能会让你平静下来，”希尔博士说。“用结实、光滑的触摸，比如拥抱或拍打，让宝宝知道一切都好。”(当然，如果你达到了愤怒或沮丧的程度，你应该总是把你的孩子交给别人。如果你独自一人，把他放在一个安全的地方，像他的婴儿床，直到你平静下来。

研究表明，大约90%的婴儿和成年人的交流是非语言的，语言病理学家Diane Bahr说，她是《没有人告诉我(或我的母亲)》的作者。她说:“比如，很多宝宝饿了就会用小拳头开始喂食。”“一旦他们饱足了，他们的手就会放松和打开。”其他常见的肢体语言提示:

医学博士Michele Saysana说，婴儿出生几周后，当他们感到不适的时候，他们就开始拱起背部。他是印第安纳大学医学院儿童医院的儿科住院医师项目主任。她说:“这可能意味着他有反流症，尤其是当弓形背部和哭泣结合在一起的时候。”“宝宝会扭动身体，试图找到一个更舒服的姿势。”当婴儿吃饱了，想要离开乳房时，他们通常会拱背。(大约4到5个月，这个动作可能意味着一些完全不同的东西——你的宝宝第一次尝试翻身。)

你的宝宝可能只是需要换个姿势(毕竟，她自己还不能移动太多)。如果她在车里，汽车座椅或婴儿车，试着带她出去几分钟;把她举到你的肩膀上，或者给她一些摆动的时间在地板上。

当婴儿开始感到疲劳时，他们会用手摩擦他们的眼睛和耳朵。她说:“在6个月前，如果他们感到疲劳或发痒，他们就会把脸擦去。”在那之后，他们可能会偶然发现一只耳朵，并在拉动或摩擦时感到舒适。耳朵是身体的敏感部位，婴儿喜欢触摸它们。

当宝宝开始摩擦他的耳朵和脸的时候，立即开始你的就寝时间或午睡习惯。一个警告:如果你的宝宝正在揉耳朵，体温超过了38度，而且很挑剔，他可能有耳朵感染，你应该给你的儿科医生打电话，Saysana博士说。

觅食反射是生存的关键,因为它可以帮助孩子寻找食物。“只要有什么东西碰到他的脸颊，新生儿就会转过头来，”塞萨娜博士说。“在最初几周后，这种反射消失了，尽管婴儿仍然会转向你去护理——这不再是自动的了，并成为他们饥饿的信号。”

当你的宝宝在吃东西的时候，利用你的优势条件反射到你的优势;只要轻轻一碰脸颊，他就会发现乳房或奶瓶。

巨大的噪音，明亮的灯光，或者头部的小波，会引发惊吓反射——婴儿抽搐，张开双臂和双腿，然后迅速把他们拉回来哭泣。惊吓反射在出生时就出现了，但在3到6个月后就消失了。

虽然令人吃惊的是，它不会伤害宝宝，但它会让人感到害怕，并引发一场哭闹。为了重建子宫的安全，声音和光线都被压抑了，试着用一个轻量的收纳毯子把婴儿裹起来。(这项技术对更年轻的婴儿来说是最好的。在四个月的时间里，大多数婴儿都能从襁褓中蠕动，这是在六个月后，襁褓可能导致髋关节问题。

哭是你的孩子最快的方式让你知道她累了，饿了，在痛苦或只是简单的大惊小怪。但是哪一个哭是哪一个呢?“在出生时，所有的哭声几乎都是一样的，”Bahr说。新生儿在吸气和呼气时哭泣;他们没有太多的呼吸控制。当你的宝宝成熟的时候，你可以从她的哭声中找到她想要的东西。这里有一些重要的东西:

婴儿通常会在饥饿和哭泣中醒来。Bahr说:“这是一种短而低沉的叫声，持续时间略过一秒。”如果你不快速反应，叫声就会变得更大、更强烈。

尽快对你的宝宝做出反应，尤其是在生命的最初几个月。你不打算把孩子抱起来，马上给他喂饭，这样你就不会宠坏你的孩子。照顾孩子的饥饿会立刻教会他，你会一直在那里照顾他的需要。

痛苦的呼喊比饥饿的哭泣来得更突然。它的长度是两倍，而且是连续的——也就是说，它不会上升和下降。

试着去安慰你的孩子时要仔细考虑一下。她会不会有湿的尿布?她是太冷还是太热?(例如，婴儿在汽车座椅上醒来时，往往是过热的。)从头到脚打量你的宝宝。有时，一件衣服或尿布的边缘会挤压她的皮肤。

在两到三个月的时间里，宝宝的哭声会变得更大，他可能会变得暴躁，“累”哭。Bahr说，“这可能是他痛苦的哭泣更柔和的变化。”(别忘了用常识来解释哭泣:如果你的宝宝已经醒了几个小时了，你很可能会听到一个困倦的哭声。)

试着在椅子上或脚上摇动，左右摇摆，轻轻地抚摸他的头或胸部，或轻声地唱。你很快就会发现什么最适合让你的宝宝安静下来。

Bahr说，婴儿在两个月到三个月之间“说话”。“他们开始匹配父母语气的音高和变化。”在4到6个月的时间里，婴儿们用他们的声音做更多的实验;他们叽叽喳喳，把辅音和元音连在一起，发出刺耳的声音。Bahr说:“她的声音可以表达一系列的情绪——快乐、疯狂、愤怒、抗议、渴望和满足。”

当你和你的宝宝一起度过这一天的时候，讲述你的活动(“现在我要为你的浴缸放水，”“看看这只漂亮的蝴蝶!”)——停下来让她对你唠叨个没完。鼓励她模仿她的声音——并享受这些第一次，难忘的对话!